7 THINGS THAT MAKE MEN FEEL LIKE MEN

 

 Masculinity can be defined rather simply as a set of qualities, characteristics or roles generally considered typical to a boy or man (thanks for the assist, Webster).

However, being a man — and feeling like one — is a lot more complex than just one sentence. Those “roles” that our fathers and grandfathers used to inhabit without much thought have changed over time, and I’m not saying it’s for the worse.

What can’t be denied after all these years of human and societal evolution though is that there are certain things that connect directly to feeling like a man.

Finishing of a small bottle of alomo bitters (that 200 bucks own), whipping your dirty face on an already sweat-stained shirt after long day of working outside — these are protected treasures of male identity that are equally as important as pissing upright.

OK, I got a little carried away there — if there’s a clear cut No. 1 for what makes a man feel like a man, it’s definitely take a piss with his feet on the ground. The other way just seems too damn unnatural (more on this a bit later).

Here are 8 other things that make men feel like men:

1. Fighting

It’s a true testament to the male psyche that dads don’t even consider getting upset when their sons get into little skirmishes or brawls at school or playing sports — both parties, young man and old man, know that it’s the natural (dare I say moral) thing to do.

You must learn how to stand up and protect yourself at an early age, because it’s something you’ll need to know how to do for the rest of your life. And no, we’re not entering a discussion about bullying here.

2. Driving

I wanted to break this down more specifically, but it would have wound up taking up the whole list. Cars, motorcycles, bikes, helicopters, planes, boats, battleships, tanks — whatever the case may be, men love driving. It goes back to the whole control aspect. And, again, for better or for worse, this is what gives us our release and “inner peace.”

Before we run off to No. 3, let me state again: feel free to burn me to the stake if I’m being a sexist. I’m sure there are some girls who love to drive, but I don’t think there’s the same connection to it within the female identity. Again, I could be totally wrong.

OK, let’s move on before I dig myself an even deeper hole.

3. Strip Clubs

Similar to everything else on this list, looking at and playing with boobs is something we learn to appreciate at a very young age — and it’s an obsession that never wanes. Even when we become our grandfathers age, we will still love to stare at a good rack (booby jonzes). That’s why you can’t deny strip clubs as being one of the top five keys to male identity

In case I don’t touch upon it anywhere else, simple male bondage, like going to strip clubs or flour mills (malabites knows what I mean), is another thing that makes a man feel like a man. A strip club is always a good time, but making a ruckus with your bros is always part of the enjoyment.

4. Smoking (maryjane)

Perhaps more than any of the things on this list, maryjane are the most protected manly entity that females haven’t approached – or even thought of approaching. While it’s not uncommon to see a woman driving a sports car, it is very rare you come across a female who enjoys smoking SK. (Yes, I realize I’m entering dangerous territory again.)

And, if you do come across one, you might want to chat her up and find out if she’s the one because any chick that can blow offside is worth at least a brief conversation. You may find out that she likes some other things that you consider to be solely masculine like…

5. Expensive Liquor

You can’t hate a man with an expensive liquor collection – you just can’t. No matter how chaff he may come across, there’s this natural need to look over any character flaws and become friends with him. Why? Because he has an acquired and refined taste? No, because he understands the importance of keeping a stocked bar and is willing to share the wealth with you.

How else are you going to drink Patron margaritas and take Blue Label shots? The sad reality is you aren't because you can’t afford it.

I’m afraid we won’t get to this later so allow me to touch upon it here: being a generous host is a key to being a man (although it can definitely be identified with the opposite gender, too). Anyone who denies their guests alcohol is just an uptight prick. If you’re having people over, you best have the fridge full with good beer and top-shelf liquor. Otherwise, what’s the point?

6. Facial Hair

Wow, I’m really impressed we’ve gotten this far without talking about hair at all – when we started, I legitimately thought chest hair could have easily been No. 3 or 4 on this list.

Anyway, growing a thick beard or a solid mustache is really one of the best things a guy can do to make him feel like a man. Yes, you can fuck, lift and eat red meat (like say tomorrow no dey), but what really separates men from women is that we’re grizzly savages who fail miserably at basic skills like organization and cleaning up after ourselves.

Facial hair symbolizes this better than anything on the planet.

7. Offspring

Yes, children, I know it’s scary to think about.

While most of us are probably not at a point in our lives where we’re ready to think about reproducing, it can’t be denied that males all dream of having sons and teaching them how to play sports. Daughters are nice and all don’t get me wrong, but every guy wants to have at least a son to carry on the family legacy.

Again, I’m not trying to look ahead here, but having kids, becoming a dad and taking on the responsibility of being a provider is something that is undoubtedly manly.

Its been yours truly…..udeme uko a.k.a king julian [@ud_sureboy]…..dont forget to like our facebook page [unicalnation]

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