Masculinity can be
defined rather simply as a set of qualities, characteristics or roles generally
considered typical to a boy or man (thanks for the assist, Webster).
However, being a man —
and feeling like one — is a lot more complex than just one sentence. Those
“roles” that our fathers and grandfathers used to inhabit without much thought
have changed over time, and I’m not saying it’s for the worse.
What can’t be denied
after all these years of human and societal evolution though is that there are
certain things that connect directly to feeling like a man.
Finishing of a small
bottle of alomo bitters (that 200 bucks own), whipping your dirty face on an
already sweat-stained shirt after long day of working outside — these are
protected treasures of male identity that are equally as important as pissing
upright.
OK, I got a little
carried away there — if there’s a clear cut No. 1 for what makes a man feel
like a man, it’s definitely take a piss with his feet on the ground. The other
way just seems too damn unnatural (more on this a bit later).
Here are 8 other
things that make men feel like men:
1. Fighting
It’s a true testament
to the male psyche that dads don’t even consider getting upset when their sons
get into little skirmishes or brawls at school or playing sports — both
parties, young man and old man, know that it’s the natural (dare I say moral)
thing to do.
You must learn how to
stand up and protect yourself at an early age, because it’s something you’ll
need to know how to do for the rest of your life. And no, we’re not entering a
discussion about bullying here.
2. Driving
I wanted to break this
down more specifically, but it would have wound up taking up the whole list.
Cars, motorcycles, bikes, helicopters, planes, boats, battleships, tanks —
whatever the case may be, men love driving. It goes back to the whole control
aspect. And, again, for better or for worse, this is what gives us our release
and “inner peace.”
Before we run off to
No. 3, let me state again: feel free to burn me to the stake if I’m being a
sexist. I’m sure there are some girls who love to drive, but I don’t think
there’s the same connection to it within the female identity. Again, I could be
totally wrong.
OK, let’s move on
before I dig myself an even deeper hole.
3. Strip Clubs
Similar to everything
else on this list, looking at and playing with boobs is something we learn to
appreciate at a very young age — and it’s an obsession that never
wanes. Even when we become our grandfathers age, we will still love to
stare at a good rack (booby jonzes). That’s why you can’t deny strip clubs as
being one of the top five keys to male identity
In case I don’t touch
upon it anywhere else, simple male bondage, like going to strip clubs or flour
mills (malabites knows what I mean), is another thing that makes a man feel
like a man. A strip club is always a good time, but making a ruckus with your
bros is always part of the enjoyment.
4. Smoking (maryjane)
Perhaps more than any
of the things on this list, maryjane are the most protected manly entity that
females haven’t approached – or even thought of approaching. While it’s not
uncommon to see a woman driving a sports car, it is very rare you come across a
female who enjoys smoking SK. (Yes, I realize I’m entering dangerous territory again.)
And, if you do come
across one, you might want to chat her up and find out if she’s the one because
any chick that can blow offside is worth at least a brief conversation. You may
find out that she likes some other things that you consider to be solely
masculine like…
5. Expensive Liquor
You can’t hate a man
with an expensive liquor collection – you just can’t. No matter how chaff he
may come across, there’s this natural need to look over any character flaws and
become friends with him. Why? Because he has an acquired and refined taste? No,
because he understands the importance of keeping a stocked bar and is willing
to share the wealth with you.
How else are you going
to drink Patron margaritas and take Blue Label shots? The sad reality is you aren't because you can’t afford it.
I’m afraid we won’t
get to this later so allow me to touch upon it here: being a generous host is a
key to being a man (although it can definitely be identified with the opposite
gender, too). Anyone who denies their guests alcohol is just an uptight prick.
If you’re having people over, you best have the fridge full with good beer and
top-shelf liquor. Otherwise, what’s the point?
6. Facial Hair
Wow, I’m really
impressed we’ve gotten this far without talking about hair at all – when we
started, I legitimately thought chest hair could have easily been No. 3 or 4 on
this list.
Anyway, growing a
thick beard or a solid mustache is really one of the best things a guy can do
to make him feel like a man. Yes, you can fuck, lift and eat red meat (like say
tomorrow no dey), but what really separates men from women is that we’re
grizzly savages who fail miserably at basic skills like organization and
cleaning up after ourselves.
Facial hair symbolizes
this better than anything on the planet.
7. Offspring
Yes, children, I know
it’s scary to think about.
While most of us are
probably not at a point in our lives where we’re ready to think about
reproducing, it can’t be denied that males all dream of having sons and
teaching them how to play sports. Daughters are nice and all don’t get me
wrong, but every guy wants to have at least a son to carry on the family legacy.
Again, I’m not trying
to look ahead here, but having kids, becoming a dad and taking on the
responsibility of being a provider is something that is undoubtedly manly.
Its been yours
truly…..udeme uko a.k.a king julian [@ud_sureboy]…..dont forget to like our
facebook page [unicalnation]
Nice post though
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